07:26
thisis how i feel:
gosh it hurts so bad. you know? haha you dont. sometimes, late at night i like to think im at peace and i can come to terms with this and that youre gone forever and ever and ever and nothing will ever be the same but its good for me. but sometimes i go backwards. i think of what was good in the firstplace i think about what i did wrong. if location was the issue i want youto know that…
it hurts me that it hurted you… it hurts me you thought it was onlyyou and you probably still think that, and why am i so far away? does it ache? it aches me all the time. but then again it doesnt because i feel
i feel it was better this way i never wanted a face. but at the same time i want a tangible person. idk. i wanted a hug sometimes or a pat on the head (not really about the pat), or just somebody to be beside me because so often i feel… not alone… but separate..?
and my problems arent even
idk
i didnt mean to put so much on you
sometiimes, you have problems that are too old to be solved, but they run deep and you put it in your subconcious bag and the feelings still linger and the weight is still on your shoulders. by the time you can talk about it you dont want to because its so old, but at the same time you still have those feelings and that weight. do you understand?
i dont know what you want from me but im sure you want nothing
but id rather you want something than nothing, because the opposite of love is indifference not hate. indifference hurts a lot
21:54
Damn I miss him
04:15
i try to stay quiet and i die every time
01:27
what does anyone want from me?
13:28
the only thing that really really makes me happy is my friend hope’s baby, skyler
now i can be auntie maimai
20:46
is a fucking idiot also if you think something is wrong address the fucking issue dont just try to act fake nice to me what if i killed myself by now
19:55
I cant even begin to9 explain this is terrible just when i thought i was doing better it got worse who is that mean ever who says that to anyone ok if i dont exist but my feelings still get hurt. would u say that to my face or anyone at all actually. would u at least say it to me yourself if you really dont care if im dead or not maybe i should just go die right
